Interview with Kyle & Jackie-O - KIIS 106.5FM

KYLE: We've got to take an emergency call from a very highly respectedpolitician in Australia – we know her as Foreign Minister, Julie Bishop.

JACKIE O: Oh, yeah! We've been trying to get a hold of Julie to see if wecan get the seal of approval for our treaty we organised.

KYLE: We did the treaty with Ireland and now – hello Foreign Minister!

JULIE BISHOP: Good morning Kyle and Jackie. I've beenwarning our embassy in Dublin that Kyle and Jackie-O have now taken over treatynegotiations between Australia and Ireland. Hey, listen guys – I'm all forfairness in bilateral relations but you'd better make sure we win this thing!We have got to win!

KYLE: Oh, 100 per cent.

JACKIE O: For those that didn't hear it before, we came up with a plan,because in Eurovision you can't vote for your own country – you have to votefor someone else. So we contacted the number one breakfast radio show inIreland and we made a pact: "You guys vote for us and we will vote for you".

KYLE: That's right.

JACKIE O: One of us will win!

KYLE: Is that allowed?

JULIE BISHOP: Hang on a minute – Ireland has finished firstseven times. They've won this contest seven times before! More than anycountry. So you're going to have to make sure that we win this. I mean, Jessicais magnificent. She deserves to win. So what's the cunning plan to ensure thatJessica wins over the Irish? Ryan O'Shaughnessy? What a great name!

KYLE: Good question Foreign Minister. Jackie, what is the cunning plan?

JULIE BISHOP: Yeah, there has got to be a cunning planhere.

JACKIE O: Well, our cunning plan was just to ask all of the people wholisten to that show to vote for us. That was it. That was all we came up with.Not good enough? In the world of treaty deals – does that not fly?

KYLE: We should have got Julie on before we did it.

JULIE BISHOP: We need a Plan B. Okay? We need a Plan B, sowe're going to have to find another country where we do another deal with them.Don't tell the Irish.

JACKIE O: Is that what happens in your world?

KYLE: It's just like Madam Secretary – I've watched that program and Iknow that's Julie's life.

JACKIE O: So we do it on the D-L, right? We call another country. Whichcountry would be the best one to call then?

JULIE BISHOP: Well, who has come second? We have to workout who has come second more than any other country and we'll do a deal with them.You know, I think we might go for the Swedes-

KYLE: Yeah, the Swedes! Good idea.

JACKIE O: Oh yeah, they always have a lot of luck.

JULIE BISHOP: All right, so if you get onto a Swedishbreakfast program – don't tell the Irish, they won't know – and then we couldreally pull this off, but I'd like to think that Jess wins on sheer talent asshe certainly deserves to.

KYLE: Yes, I know, but we know that people can't just win on talentalone in this day and age. It is very hard.

JULIE BISHOP: They need the help of our diplomatic network.Well, what I might do is put out a message to all 117 Australian posts overseasand get them to start promoting Jessica Mauboy and make sure we get a vote fromevery other country that we can.

JACKIE O: Are we going to tell all of those countries that we're voting forthem?

KYLE: Yeah, we'll tell everyone whatever.

JACKIE O: This could backfire epically on us when they all find out!

JULIE BISHOP: This is politics - it is internationalpolitics. You've just got to hold your breath and go for it.

JACKIE O: I just love you even more now, Julie.

KYLE: So you're saying international politics is just like a game ofMarco Polo.

JULIE BISHOP: Did I say that? Did I say that? Yes well,when you see some of the international events unfolding today, who would havethought? President Trump meeting KJU in Singapore?

KYLE: I know! How good is that!

JULIE BISHOP: Think about that, who would have thought, evena few months ago.

KYLE: Now, a lot of people thought Trump is a ratbag, he can't doanything.

JACKIE O: Trump is going to screw it all up.

KYLE: He has done the unthinkable!

JULIE BISHOP: What he does is challenge the status quo. Heis unorthodox, he does things differently. No-one is expecting it, and he hasreally changed the narrative when it comes to North Korea. North Korea stillhas to prove that it is genuine and that it will denuclearise, that it willgive up its illegal weapons programs but Donald Trump has changed the debate.He has changed the discussion, and this maximum pressure campaign of sanctionson North Korea and the threat of military action suddenly had Kim Jong-unthinking: 'Hang on, what's going on here? I had better rethink my outcomehere'.

KYLE: He's such a happy-chappy Kim Jong-un seems. When he stepped overDMZ he looked like a big smiling happy bloke.

JULIE BISHOP: Yes, who would have thought, but there yougo. We have now got a summit between President Trump and Kim Jong-un inSingapore on the 12th of June.

KYLE: Do you get to go to that? That'd be a good junket to go to. Areyou going?

JULIE BISHOP: No, I think we'll all be observers on thatone. I think it would be very hard to get into Singapore that weekend somehow,but we'll watch it very closely. It just goes to show that internationalpolitics can be extremely complex and that is why I am really excited that youtwo are now in negotiations with Ireland.

KYLE: Do you know what I am excited about Foreign Minister?

JULIE BISHOP: Yes?

KYLE: That possiblythis might get me a diplomatic passport so I can whip through the fast line atthe airport when I travel.

JACKIE O: That's all he wants.

JULIE BISHOP: You want one of those red passports?

KYLE: Yeah, and a pouch, a diplomatic pouch.

JACKIE O: How hard are they to get?

JULIE BISHOP: Well it helps if you go through Australia'sDiplomatic Academy, which by the way, I am opening in about half an hour.

KYLE: Are you kidding?

JULIE BISHOP: We have a school for diplomats, a DiplomaticAcademy, and Kyle you are more than welcome to enrol.

KYLE: Oh my God – are you saying I am an honorary diploma receiver?

JULIE BISHOP: Did I say that?

JACKIE O: No, she didn't say that!

KYLE: No, but I thought you were going to say that any second.

JULIE BISHOP: I don't recall I said that you were anhonorary.

KYLE: I can read between the lines. I know what's going on.

JULIE BISHOP: You'd have to go through the course.

KYLE: Wow, that's amazing.

JULIE BISHOP: Yeah, I want you on the world stagerepresenting Australia in treaty negotiations?

KYLE: Yes, because I am just like Trump. I am the 'expect theunexpected'.

JULIE BISHOP: You're a disrupter.

KYLE: Better hair though.

JULIE BISHOP: Or are you just like KJU? Are you just likeKim Jong-un?

JACKIE O: A little bit of both.

KYLE: Yeah.

JULIE BISHOP: A combination?

KYLE: Yeah, a little bit of this, a little bit of that.

JULIE BISHOP: You could've got a gig on 'Team America'.

KYLE: By the way, well done to the Government. I don't often congratulatethe Government, but well done on the tax thing. I suppose that works forsomeone. The super-rich like me get nothing, but anyway. I am a man of thepeople.

JULIE BISHOP: I know that people are concerned, some peopleare concerned about the fame tax, but really it is just closing a loopholewhere celebrities and sport stars were paying less tax by structuring it in aparticular and we just need to treat it like normal income.

KYLE: Yeah, I'm not doing that. I don't slut myself out to all the carcompanies for free cars and all that sort of rubbish, so I don't care.

JACKIE O: Oh, I thought you did?

KYLE: No.

JULIE BISHOP: It's just a fairness measure. Everybody getstreated the same. It is normal income.

KYLE: I agree, but however I would like you to look at one particularthing – the luxury import car tax – because the new Rolls Royce SUV wasreleased today.

JULIE BISHOP: That is way out of my league mate.

KYLE: Yes, but not mine. I really like the look of it, but these importtaxes – it is just unnecessary. Get rid of that.

JULIE BISHOP: I am worried about you now being our honorarydiplomat if you're going to be driving around in a Rolls Royce.

KYLE: With flags on it! I'll have little flags on it.

JULIE BISHOP: What? The Irish flag?

KYLE: No – well, depends who I am going with that week.

JULIE BISHOP: Exactly.

KYLE: Appreciate your time. Good luck opening your diplomatic school.

JACKIE O: So we've got your seal of approval with our idea with this treatyyeah?

JULIE BISHOP: And go Jessica Mauboy!

KYLE: Go girl go!

JACKIE O: Alright, thank you Julie Bishop.

KYLE: Thank you!

JULIE BISHOP: Thanks guys. Have a great Eurovision.